Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
