Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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