adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
where are you?
Hypothermia
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
