My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
