Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
