get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
