You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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