I forgot how hot balto sounded
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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