Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
