I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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