I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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