You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
