I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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