he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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