there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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