i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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