direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
