my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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