He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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