You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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