dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
