Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She told me I should be a condom model.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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