I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
