What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
