Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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