Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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