No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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