Banned from zoo.
Again?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
