Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
