All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
