I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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