angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Let's get the cat blown out
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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