3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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