I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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