Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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