so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
