OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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