ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
