I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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