Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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