is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
