There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
