it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
