Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
