Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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