i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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