ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
