he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
