I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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