Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
